‘I'm sad I'm not a beast...’

After the poem of the same name by Alexander Vvedensky

I’m sad I’m not a beast

asprint down some blue lane

whispering confidences to my

 

       self : let’s wait a little

       we’ll go walk in the woods with you

       to gawk at the paltry leaves

 

I wish I were a star

running seeking that one nest

to drown in – none

could hear that star making creakings

to embolden the silence of fish

 

       I have a complaint

       : I’m not a rug , nor a hydrangea

 

I’m sad I’m not a roof

falling – little by little – in

for whom death is only a moment

wet with rain

 

       I dislike that I’m mortal

       I’m sad I’m inexact

 

I’m sad I’m not a chalice

I hate that I’m not pity

I’m not even a copse

that sheathes itself with leaves

 

       It’s hard to be with the minutes

       Who have wasted me so badly

 

       It’s terribly offensive to me

       That I’m visible currently

 

It’s awful to me that I move

not at all like a worm

The worm rips burrows into

the earth and plants conversations

 

       Earth , where are your works

 

the cold worm says to her

and Earth , disposing of the dead

, keeps quiet

 

       ( she knows it’s not like that )

 

I’m scared I have before me

two identical things

I don’t see how they’re different

how each one lives , independent

 

I’m scared I have before me

two identical things

I don’t see how eager they are

to look like one another

 

       We’re sitting with you , wind

       atop this deathly pebble

 

and here , at the tip of the letter

I put down the word box

I set box in its place

: its substance is thick dough

 

       I don’t like that I’m mortal

       I’m sad I’m inexact

 

       I still have a complaint

       : I’m not a rug , nor a hydrangea

 

we’ll go walk in the woods with you

to gawk at the paltry leaves . . .

I’m sad that on those leaves

I won’t see the unnoticed words

 

       called : instance , called : immortality

       called : view from the beginning

 

I’m scared I’m not an eagle

I’m sad I’m not a seed

The worm crawls over all

He bears monotony

 

I’m scared that I’m unknown

I’m sorry I’m not flame