it is very early and the apartment is cold

Sarah is still asleep

besides why am I awake

what is the best question to ask

for months I have been telling my students

cling to the calm worry

you feel whenever you do not know

why you are writing

the words calm worry down

theories are harmful

and any blueprint no matter how beautiful

will cause us to build

terrible orderly structures

your friends as you read to them

will have to pretend

they feel free imagining living in

but this morning at last

it is time to reveal

I love to sit here

at my desk allowing ideas

inside me like an army to gather

and march forth

into my enemy the day

carrying a banner

upon which is written

destined words in the sun

the sky has gotten lighter

in my desk chair

I am facing north

this morning I saw a fruit fly

floating above the sink

so I put two plastic containers

with a little white vinegar

in them and poked tiny holes

in saran wrap to catch it

before it finds another and breeds

like last summer when for weeks

we chased them laughing

and angry around the apartment

eager to amputate what was

if one can call it that their dream

to live in a mango or bagel

that rolled behind the refrigerator

for hours I sit in the kitchen

and watch the traps

on the radio I hear a solemn voice

repeat war games in the yellow sea

on a map with my finger

I trace the kingdom of Korea

it looks like a blue friendly seahorse

ready for gentle locomotion

hello lord sorry I woke you

because my plans are important to me

and I need things no one can buy

and don’t even know

what they are I know

I belong in this new dark age