To Whom It May Concern:
Hi, I really want to just rest this summer, because I know for sure that this spring semester is gonna leave me with half of the desire to move and think that I currently have, but I have been highly peer-pressured into working. And no one in their early twenties can resist peer pressure – I am applying to this internship just like I might jump off the bridge if my friends do, Mom.
I know, there is a pool of much more qualified people to go over your files and nod and smile at the pictures of your niece for $16 an hour or no pay at all with New York rent to pay, but you really should take me. I have this feeling that I am special and so helpful. Not just because I want to think so, but because it is objective truth, and also my high school English teacher said so.
You guys read my CV already, so you have read all about my experience and some frivolous phrasings that are basically lies. I am also convinced I can learn all of Photoshop in a week, if you take me.
I think this is all wrong and kinda rude, so I will apologize and thank you seven times in the following couple of lines – feel free to just skip them.
I’m sorry, I will totally forget to tell my roommate if you decide to interview me, and he’ll walk out of the shower into the background of the Zoom call halfway through it – don’t take it personally.
This is way too long – I’m sorry for that too. I think I’m really interesting, but you would disagree that I’m 500 words interesting, I’m sure. I swear, I am as sick of writing this as you are sick of reading it.
Thank you for reading. Thank you for your time. Thank you for being the father I never had. Thank you for this award. Thank you for letting me borrow your shoes for the party. Thank you for your order.
Kind regards,
Varya
2025